


Bungou Stray Dogs: Growing up Alternative

by Ihamouden_78_7



Series: Yakuza Higuchi AU story plot: Growing Up [2]
Category: bungou stray dogs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Alternative Universe - Post-canon, Atsushi is senpai, Gore, Higuchi is best kohai, Higuchi is precious, Mori is a dick, Multi, Tags will be edited, Yosano is queen, alternative version of Growing Up and Bungou Stray Dogs, this story will be discontinued until Growing Up is fully complete, yakuza Higuchi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:53:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihamouden_78_7/pseuds/Ihamouden_78_7
Summary: “Higuchi-kun, just what kind of results do you want?”After Higuchi Ichiyou fails to deliver any good to the mafia, Mori fires her one year prior to Atsushi joining the Armed Detective Agency. Afraid that her little sister will get caught in the crossfire—or worse dead—Higuchi runs away with Natsu and returns to the bloody, cold streets of Suribachi city. One year later—In her wrath she meets Yosano Akiko and Nakajima Atsushi who were appointed to investigate the murders of the Golden Oni. When Higuchi fails to kill them, she begs to be killed, claiming that justice needs to be served for the poor souls who were lost by her blade.However, instead of dying she hears those exact same words he once said to her as he flawlessly dodged death.“One can become successful in life if they learn from their past mistakes and continue through with a clear mind.”
Relationships: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou & Higuchi Ichiyou's Sister, Higuchi Ichiyou & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou & Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Higuchi Ichiyou & Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyōuka & Higuchi’s Little sister (Bungou Stray dogs)
Series: Yakuza Higuchi AU story plot: Growing Up [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918924
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. In the end, this occupation never suited her.

The words are ringing in her ears, when Higuchi escapes the sharp gaze of the Port Mafia boss, still shaking with barely concealed anger. Desperation is bubbling in her veins, threatening to overflow, and Higuchi escapes into one of the many bathrooms as soon as she dares to.

In the relative privacy of the locked stall, bitter tears start spilling from her eyes. If someone saw her like this, she would be mocked for it, another sign of her so-called weakness.

It’s not like she can help it. The rage, the anguish in her chest needs an outlet if she doesn’t want to choke on the emotions bursting from her chest. It doesn’t completely alleviate the suffocating feeling of being absolutely powerless, but it takes off the edge for a moment.

Stepping out of the stall, roughly ten minutes later, Higuchi can breathe again. She splashes a bit of water in her face, washing away the streaks left by the tears on her cheeks. It’s a blessing that she didn’t bother to apply any make-up this morning. Her churning emotions are slowly settling into something more manageable again. Her head feels clearer.

Carefully, Higuchi dries off her face, dabbing away the moisture with her towel when a shadow flashes in the mirror behind her.

Higuchi goes very still, with Gin’s knife pressed against her throat. Her heart is hammering in her chest. She always knew there would be a chance that it would end like this.

When it doesn’t, she can’t find it in herself to be truly relieved. It’s a warning, plain and obvious. They don’t take her seriously. She has no power over the beast that is Black Lizard without Akutagawa’s shadow at her back. Without him, she holds no power in the Port Mafia.

It’s a sobering thought.

When she ends up at Akutagawa’s side after that, it’s another admittance of her weakness. The encounter has left her shaken, rattled in different ways than her meeting with the boss and she selfishly needs the comfort of seeing Akutagawa alive.

Against the pristine white of the hospital bed, he looks fragile. Asleep like this, he’s vulnerable and just as easy to break as everybody else. Higuchi desperately wants the strength to keep him from harm.

But, when Akutagawa wakes up, she isn’t even strong enough to stop him from leaving, from walking towards his own demise.

For the first time, Higuchi becomes truly aware of how little power she wields. The thought makes her nauseous.

Still, she won’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her cry in public. So, she grits her teeth and holds her head up a little higher, as she walks back into the Port Mafia Headquarters. Her work isn’t finished for today, and she has to show them that they won’t get rid of her that easily. She’s not scared of Gin’s knife or Tachihara’s gun, she’s not afraid of them, despite the clear threat.

The rest of the day, she can feel eyes resting on the back of her head, watching her and waiting for her to crumble. Higuchi sits up a little straighter and carries on with her work. They will have to wait a little longer.

Still, when she comes home that night, Higuchi is relieved to be away from prying eyes. She’s drained, completely exhausted after the day. As soon as she closes the door, her legs give out and Higuchi sinks to the floor.

All of sudden, the invisible weight on her shoulders grows heavier, and she can’t ignore it any longer.

There’s nothing she can do to change anything in the situation. She can only sit by and watch, and it’s eating her alive.

Higuchi can’t help the tears welling up in her eyes. She doesn’t try to stop them nor the sobs spilling from her lips.

It’s a small mercy that her sister isn’t at home to see her like this. Higuchi doesn’t want to worry her.

“Have you ever wondered whether this job really suits you?” The question replays in her mind. Elise’s sickly sweet voice is making her skin crawl. The answer is obvious. Higuchi laughs, sharp and bitter through her tears.

Of course, it doesn’t.  
Someone like her is not suited for the Port Mafia. She’s too soft, too emotional. She’s heard it all before.

Higuchi takes a deep shuddering breath, as she gathers herself up from the floor. She might be soft-hearted, she might feel too much, but that doesn’t make her weak. After all, she willingly walked into this dark and cruel world. It hasn’t managed to break her yet and it never will.

She won’t give anyone, not Black Lizard, not Akutagawa, not even the infamous boss of the Port Mafia the satisfaction of seeing her give up. One day, she will prove them wrong.

When she goes to bed that night, Higuchi feels a little lighter.

This job, this life, it really doesn’t suit her. None of that matters when her phone rings in the middle of the night and she learns that someone took Akutagawa from them. This time, there is something she can do about it. Higuchi doesn’t hesitate for a second.

This occupation might not suit her, but there is nothing else she would rather do.

She would rather dive into the black blood then return to the red one...is what she would have said was it not for that day. 

“I swear Higuchi messes things up everyday. I bet that she would one day die by the boss’ orders.” 

“No way! She is going to be hunted down by Akutagawa and be ripped to shreds by Rashomon.” 

“Or better, the Black Lizards will kill her.” 

Why must she live in a world where only she can’t be happy? Why must she suffer under the pain of others? Why is she that unlucky?

“Every page in a book is worth so much.” Andersen’s words hit her head yet it stayed stuck. “And as such, no grief nor tragedy can be oppressed by the other.” 

What if she never listened? What if she forgot that he wanted her to live? That embrace was nothing but fake. No matter how much she tries to ignore it, she is worth nothing. 

“Higuchi, get out,” the boss told her with a sharp look. 

“Huh? Boss, what did you just….?” 

Elise’s glare is very present, indicating how much she hates her. 

“Did you not hear me? Is the famous Golden Oni so deaf that she can’t hear me? Get out.” 

It was like a punch in the gut, that she barely understood how miserable she felt.


	2. The Golden Oni

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The male's beast ravaged through the walls, slaying everyone inside. Splatters of blood surrounded the floor and the walls. Akutagawa covered his mouth as he faintly coughed. As his eyes met Higuchi's, the usual frown engraved on his face slowly reduced to a normal one. The female, who was deeply happy because of his arrival, approached the man despite her wound on the thigh.
> 
> "A-Akutagawa-senpai..." She hesitated.
> 
> "I have failed you again, didn't I? I'm terribly sorry. I knew I wasn't suited for this job. Hirotsu-san told me as well. That's why... that's why..."
> 
> Tears began falling down her cheeks. She wiped them off with her hand, although it was stained with blood. Her face ended up getting more stained.
> 
> "I'm pretty sure you received the voice message, senpai. I'm leaー"
> 
> “How can you write when you are losing yourself in madness?” 
> 
> Higuchi’s eyes slowly opened. Crimson eyes locked on the bloodstained wall opposite of her. She hears soft snoring. Turning to her right she sees her little sister laying on her thigh, a white blanket pulled over her and Kuni resting near her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Growing Up is almost finished I might as well put this story on. Next chapter will be long. I hope it is.

  
  


An old etymology for "oni" is that the word derives from on, the on'yomi reading of a character meaning "to hide or conceal", due to oni having the tendency of "hiding behind things, not wishing to appear". This explanation is found in the 10th century dictionary Wamyōshō, which reveals that the oni at the time had a different meaning, defined as "a soul/spirit of the dead".

The character for oni in Chinese also means a dead or ancestral spirit, and not necessarily an evil specter. Accordingly, Chinese (Taoist) origins for the concept of oni has been proposed by Takahashi Masaaki.

The oni was syncretized with Hindu-Buddhist creatures such as the man-devouring yaksha and the rakshasa, and became the oni who tormented sinners as wardens of Jigoku (Hell), administering sentences passed down by Hell's magistrate, King Yama (Enma Daiō).The hungry ghosts called gaki has also been sometimes considered a type of oni (the letter "ki" 鬼 is also read "oni"). Accordingly, a wicked soul beyond rehabilitation transforms into an oni after death. Only the very worst people turn into oni while alive, and these are the oni causing troubles among humans as presented in folk tales.

In the slums of Suribachi city however people fear the monster that had planted themselves here. The smell of blood had been more noticeable, skulls planted on places where they shouldn’t have been in the first place. Human hearts scattered around the ground where the crows could eat it. Discarded weapons had long since been picked up, and had been refused to kill any goon that wanted to step into the line. 

One such goon was a man who has a thing for finger nails. A man who enjoyed the sight of women crying and children being crushed under the weight of metal. 

And yet….

He had stepped over the line. The line that had been stretched out by the blood of idiots who dared to attack it. 

It happened almost a week ago when the first bodies piled up. All of them were of local gangs that dared to claim the land was theirs, many street rats had feared them as the gangs took their earned food and handmade blankets. But that didn’t mean that they accepted the corpses that one day laid on the dusty road. 

Over time many other corpses were sighted. In the last three weeks over twenty corpses had been spotted and many couldn’t handle it. As such, nobody walked over the red line but neither did they pass it; knives would be thrown their way and even sometimes triggers would be pulled which fired bullets at their heads. 

The trail of corpses led many investigators to look into the case when a doctor came back only to find one of his assistants half-dead on the ground, missing a leg. Luckily enough he had used whatever strings he could connect to ask a special doctor to heal her, also asking for therapy from another doctor that specializes with socials and other mental illnesses. 

One thing became clear to him that day however, no human could leave so many corpses and not feel any remorse. Even his assistant couldn’t sleep without remembering the attacker. 

Red eyes that glow like the devil, golden hair that glows like the sun. These defining features stuck with her which led to the name this hideous monster left for itself. 

The Golden Oni. 

A year had passed. 

A year filled with bloodlust and despair. 

After she had left the mafia she had grabbed her little sister and told her to pack. She knows that Cindy has more storage room left and wouldn’t mind if she let some of her stuff being kept there, like all the family pictures, Ellen’s ashes and also her novel. With Natsu she said her laptop and phone were the only things that could stay with that, she really hoped that all her artwork she made and contacts she had would buy her one-year trip to America. 

When waving goodbye to Cindy—getting crushed by her fierce hugs—the two departed, wearing only their kimonos. Well, Natsu did, Higuchi resorted to hiding her face with an Oni mask while wearing only underwear and brown robes. 

And as such the two are now where they belong; the slums where scum and disgusting vultures like them should have stayed. No Andersen could save them; he left them. No Ellen could warm them up; she is dead. And no Port Mafia to watch over their bloodlust; because Higuchi abandoned them. Only death could do those sins apart. 

For the first two months things got hard for them; with the amount of theft going around nobody could handle that, let alone for a day. Which is why both resorted to their most accustomed option. Murdering anyone that came near them, kill any witness or bystander and pain the walls red. Only then could they be considered acceptable for the yakuza. 

If they leave death in its waking, if they show the inside of a human then nobody could walk over them like trash. Like they are worth nothing. 

_“Only those who have talent may enter our world. Weaklings like you should disappear.”_

Those words always had entered their minds. Their knowledge of parental love was something neither could understand. Whatever that parental love was that children in Natsu’s school spoke so negatively about, that love that made adults happy when their children ran up in their arms. 

—they were used to it. No. They forgot what it was like. 

Both girls for that reason are now here—slowly losing sense to life. 

“Onee-chan,” Natsu hides herself behind a pillar, her white kimono dirty. “Someone stole my crops.” 

Higuchi adjusted her newly found thigh-highs before grabbing her katana that she had brought with her. Only one month already and the two managed to kill at least 35 people. Their territory was filled with skeletons, all of them being people who were foolish to pass by or wanted to claim it. 

It was theirs. 

“I see. Did you know what he looks like?” Higuchi asked, her sister adjusting the brown robes around her almost like Robin Hood but with a mask, brown instead of green and a katana. 

Natsu frowned, finding herself unable to smile as she struggled to adjust the knives on her sister’s belt. “Brown hair, black eyes and wears sunglasses.” 

Higuchi smiled at her little sister, patting her head with reassurance. “Thank you. I will be off, go and play with Kuni.” 

A bark made the two look to see the black bloodhound. The dog had bitten Natsu in the leg once which resulted in Higuchi almost killing the animal was it not for Natsu begging her to let her stay. Her—yes a girl—. Kuni wasn’t that bad after three days. Given how much Natsu loves dogs Higuchi shouldn’t be all that surprised that the animal liked her back. 

She could say that she got another family member. 

“Take care!” Natsu waved, Kuni barking while her tail waggled. 

Higuchi pushed away the dirty rag that acts as their door, not at all bothered by the smell. Looking up at the sky she knows today is another day of bloodlust. 

The Golden Oni never left her targets in one piece. 

It was never like that for her. 

Back when she was born in the yakuza she was groomed to kill everyday.She was born to kill everyday. There was no need for her to join the mafia to hold back her bloodlust, being a serial killer is her only need in this world. Where she, a monster, can roam free without remorse. 

Not even his words can hit her. 

_“If you stop killing then maybe one day you can write_.” 

Stupid. 

It was stupid to believe that she can do anything. 

There have been many cases of murders in Japan. In the Amagasaki Serial Murder Incident several family households in Japan were tortured continuously for more than 25 years.These crimes were committed mainly in Amagasaki, and also in six prefectures, Hyogo, Kochi, Kagawa, Okayama, Shiga and Kyoto. Many people were abused and imprisoned; at least 8 people were killed.

The incident was discovered when the suspects Miyoko Sumida and Masanori Sumida were arrested in November 2011. Ringleader's cousin gets life term over Amagasaki murders.

One of the most well known murders is the Kobe child murders. The Kobe child murders occurred in Kobe, Japan, on March 16 and May 27, 1997. Two victims, Yamashita Ayaka, age 10, and Jun Hase, age 11, were murdered by a 14-year-old boy reportedly named Shinichiro Azuma, under the alias Sakakibara Seito. The perpetrator was arrested on June 28, 1997 in connection with the Hase murder, and later confessed to both murders. As a juvenile offender, he was prosecuted and convicted as "Boy A". His real name has not been officially released to the press because Japanese law prohibits publishing the identification, but in some weekly magazines his real name has been reported. Beginning in 2004, "Boy A" was released on a provisional basis, with a full release announced to follow on January 1, 2005. The murders and subsequent release of the perpetrator gained widespread attention from Japanese media and politicians.

On May 27, 1997, the head of Jun Hase, a special education pupil at Tanohata Elementary School, was found in front of the school gate hours before pupils arrived for classes. Hase had been beheaded with a handsaw, with further mutilations being done before being left in front of the school, for students to discover when they arrived in the morning. A note, written in red pen, was found stuffed in his mouth, identifying the killer as "Sakakibara." The note read:

_This is the beginning of the game... Try to stop me if you can you stupid police... I desperately want to see people die, it is a thrill for me to commit murder. A bloody judgment is needed for my years of great bitterness_

Police commented that the style of Hase's killing and the note was reminiscent of that of the Zodiac murders in the San Francisco area during the late 1960s.

On June 6, a letter was sent to the newspaper Kobe Shinbun, in which Sakakibara claimed responsibility for the slaying and decapitation of Jun Hase, and threatened that more killings would follow. This second letter, delivered in a brown envelope postmarked June 3, had no return address or name. Enclosed was a three-page, 1400-word letter, also written in red ink, which included a six-character name that can be pronounced as "Sakakibara Seito". The same characters, which mean alcohol, devil, rose, saint and fight, were used in the first message that was inserted into the boy's mouth.

Beginning with the phrase "Now, it's the beginning of a game", the letter stated that "I am putting my life at stake for the sake of this game... If I'm caught, I'll probably be hanged... police should be angrier and more tenacious in pursuing me.... It's only when I kill that I am liberated from the constant hatred that I suffer and that I am able to attain peace. It is only when I give pain to people that I can ease my own pain." The letter also lashed out against the Japanese educational system, calling it "compulsory education that formed me, an invisible person."

In the initial panic, the Japanese media misreported the name as "Onibara" - Demon's Rose, though the killer insisted it was as he gave it. Infuriated by the mixup, Sakakibara later wrote to the station, "From now on, if you misread my name or spoil my mood I will kill three vegetables a week.... If you think I can only kill children you are greatly mistaken." (In this context, the "vegetables" that Sakakibara meant were humans with developmental disabilities).

A 14-year-old junior high school student was arrested as a suspect in the Hase murder on June 28. Shortly after his arrest, "Boy A" also confessed to the murder of a 10-year-old girl, Yamashita Ayaka, on March 16, as well as the assaults of three other girls on and around that same date. After the March 16 attack, he wrote in his diary: "I carried out sacred experiments today to confirm how fragile human beings are... I brought the hammer down, when the girl turned to face me. I think I hit her a few times but I was too excited to remember." The following week, on March 23, he added: "This morning my mom told me, 'Poor girl. The girl attacked seems to have died.' There is no sign of me being caught... I thank you, "Bamoidōkishin", for this... Please continue to protect me."

Higuchi in no shape or form wants to meet a police officer and kill him out of fear, she will only kill him if he dares to attack her sister. 

She is innocent. Born from her mistake in the yakuza. Yet she forced her little sister in this all because she can’t. In that case, she will kill everyone so that no troublesome matter can be met. 

**If needed death is the only ending for her.**

(<•>|____<•>____|<•>)

  
  


In the dark and rather ominous office of the Port Mafia, Mori Ougai looked over the report in Suribachi city. 103 murders in only three months, one week break and then later on 300 murders later on. Sightings of the Golden Oni have become more obvious even pictures shown of the serial killer in the slums; a oni mask, blonde hair and red eyes that flowed through the mask. 

Mori frowned knowing this is his fault. He should have disciplined her more. Looking over how many murders she can create in one month, imagine how many smugglers could have been stopped in one day had he not agreed to her contract. The contract to hide amongst the mafia and find a way to hold in her bloodlust. 

Yet that could not have been done. Mori understood that. When Oda Sakunosuke had brought her in that day five years ago she had already killed 13.000 people in eleven years. She had killed five more in just one hour. Taming stray dogs is easy but taming beasts is much more difficult than he had thought. Higuchi Ichiyou is a beast, no human could do that without holding grudges. 

“Boss,” one of his executives, Nakahara Chuuya, walked in the room with his subordinate Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. “We had searched for Higuchi, she has not been in her apartment for the past eleven months.” 

As he had thought. Higuchi Ichiyou is the Golden Oni. 

“I see, it’s unfortunate that your former subordinate is not here, Akutagawa-kun,” Mori looked at the pictures being taken by some spies. The golden oni staring back at them, one of which has her holding a scalpel. _She knows._

“We haven’t even found surveillance of her leaving so we don’t know where she is,” Chuuya added, glancing at Akutagawa who had stayed silent. “Maybe she is also a victim of the golden oni.” 

“That could be a possibility however that doesn’t fit Higuchi-kun. Interview anyone that she was in contact with, maybe they have seen her.” 

Mori knows that she must have some allies. That American girl and that doctor. She knows both are here. 

“Understood boss, but, why do we need her again? She has left the mafia and did not tell us anything, that happens to some mafia members here,” Chuuya asked, curious about getting the best of him. 

“We need her. Without her, who could command the Black Lizards?” Mori replied, a strained look on his face. 

Akutagawa frowned, he knows there is more to this. 

“We actually interviewed a few people. They all said that she is a very cold person and barely talks to anyone. There has been said that a man had actually called her his wife but we had confirmed that she has no relationship with him.” 

_That person could be that man_. 

“Then we will leave this to the Armed Detective Agency.” 

Both of the men’s eyes widened. “Huh?! Why?” 

“They are already busy with the golden oni case, right? Might as well add them with extra workload, right.” 

The two frowned but that quickly changed when they saw a beat of sweat going down his neck.

For now, he needs Fukuzawa to have Higuchi in his ranks. He can’t do it anymore.

  
  


“A murder case?!” 

Atsushi wasn’t the only one shouting. Tanizaki is next to him, looking worried at the sight of the bodies. Or what he could call them, their pictures are blurry and far in the distance. Just from the way those bodies lay from that distance he knew that it would be hard for his co-worker to survive. 

“Yes. Yosano will join you in this case,” Kunikida said, writing notes in his book. “Also your ability is very effective in these circumstances. This killer kills in a split second, he is not for show or small talk he is there to get business done. Which includes the lives of humans.”

Atsushi gulped. “I understand but still..!” 

“It’s alright, Atsushi,” Yosano walked up to him, a smile on her face. “My ability will keep us both alive.” 

“Still...the Golden Oni has been known to be very violent and almost uncontrollable. Even some Port Mafia members chickened out trying to go in,” Tanizaki argued, horrified at the sight of severed heads. “Why should Atsushi-kun…?” 

“Because the Port Mafia’s boss had given us this job,” the president walked in, his presence made the detectives stand up straighter. “For unknown reasons they had given up on this idea of trying to kill the Golden Oni and instead gave it to us. The boss said, “If you manage to find the beast, train it till your hearts content,” like that.” 

Atsushi shivered. Going up against a serial killer who killed so many in cold blood? Can he actually do that? Considering the amount of bloodshed this monster left behind he wouldn’t be surprised if this guy wasn’t even human. 

Many of his murders were that skillful and smooth that Atsushi is worried Yosano can’t heal that fast. He doesn’t doubt her at all it’s just that the technique and the way he did it was just….was just hard to swallow. Almost hard to comprehend. 

For a “legal” organization as the Port Mafia to give them that job was rather difficult to understand. 

(“We came here to collect you, Jinko.”) 

If someone as Akutagawa had managed to rip off his leg, how could a serial killer end his life? Both are horrifying to deal with but also hard to control. With Akutagawa’s Rashomon and Golden Oni’s skillful knife play, Atsushi knows the two would kill him and get a cup of coffee afterwards. 

Fukuzawa only closed his eyes, deep in thought before turning to Atsushi. The eighteen year old flinched at his gaze before the man raised his hand and patted his head. Sunset eyes widened at the touch, glancing up at the elder man who only had a stern expression. 

“I trust you to bring the Golden Oni to justice.” 

But for the sake of the Armed Detective Agency, Atsushi will gladly put his life on the line because they accepted a worthless man like him. He can prove to them that he is worth living for. 

“Yes!” 

  
  
  


_("I don't need you!")_

_Those were words that Higuchi Ichiyou had heard many times in her life, especially during her employment in the Port Mafia. And almost every time those words were thrown at her, it was Akutagawa, the one she had been assigned to protect, doing the throwing._

_("But Akutagawa-senpai! That's suicide, even for you! Walking into a building full of security guards like that - "_

_"I don't need your help!")_

_She knows how Akutagawa feels - always trying to earn someone else's praise, yearning for acknowledgment. But while Akutagawa keeps pushing himself in order to earn a single encouraging word from Dazai-san, Higuchi wants to pull him back. She wants to tell him that he's done enough; after all, he had already become one of the Port Mafia's most feared assassins with Rashomon. And even though she's not sure what's pushing her on at this point (was it her love for Akutagawa or was it just pure defiance?), Higuchi wants Akutagawa to realize that, yes, he does need her._

_Which is why, the moment she learns of Akutagawa's capture, Higuchi bolts from her house, heading straight for Port Mafia headquarters to arm herself. Which is why she runs through darkened streets, towards the abductors' hideout, ignoring Tachihara's advice to "just wait for a retrieval order" that she knows will never come. Which is why Higuchi grits her teeth and charges at the enemy, guns blazing, not noticing her own wounds; why she almost sobs with relief when the Black Lizard shows up, saving her from a possibly painful death; why she doesn't need to be told twice when Gin gestures for her to go take care of Akutagawa._

_Breathless, Higuchi picks herself up from the floor and half-runs, half-limps towards the room where she knows Akutagawa is being held._

_As she pushes open the door, Higuchi has to remind herself that her senpai is perfectly fine, because the sight of Akutagawa hooked up to a machine still makes her uncomfortable, even after all this time. She carefully walks towards the center of the room, where Akutagawa himself is strapped to a hospital gurney, looking sickly under the stark white light._

_"Akutagawa-senpai!" Higuchi exclaims in a voice that she realizes is unnecessarily loud. But Akutagawa opens his eyes and turns his head towards Higuchi, a vaguely disbelieving look in his eyes._

_"…Higuchi?"_

_Higuchi fumbles around in her pockets, producing a handkerchief that she had brought with her on a whim. Gently, she brings it up to Akutagawa's face and dabs at an offending red spot._

_"Senpai…Blood."_

_And on an impulse, Higuchi brushes away a few strands of hair on Akutagawa's forehead and plants a barely-there kiss on the exposed skin._

_Akutagawa's eyes widen._

_Higuchi tries to pull away, mouth open and ready to stammer out a flustered apology, but Akutagawa grabs her hand before she can retract it._

_"Higuchi…Thank you."_

_Higuchi's eyes water with happiness, and she offers up a weak smile._

_"It's my job."_

_She was a girl who had a strong sense of duty within. Her motto, "Duty before self", implies her determination to finish every mission assigned by her superiors. Although this current handiwork of hers isn't exactly suitable as it may seem, she didn't bother leaving the organization because of its potentially extremely dangerous occurrences._

_Words from a subordinate of hersーwhich can be considered as an adviceーkept ringing in her head. Higuchi never wanted to contemplate the advice, but it was stuck on her mind, regardless. It was a suggestion for her to leave the Mafia because people knew it wasn't a profession suited for a young female of her age. The Black Lizard already stated their opinions regarding this topic. Of course, they had to agree with the suggestion as well._

_The female held her handkerchief between her lips as she tied her hair into a bun. Putting on her black suit, she held a bag filled with weapons and explosives. She hid a revolver behind her to keep it as a spare weapon. Leaving the room, she held her hands into a fist and began running._

_"I can't afford to lose this mission... Akutagawa-senpai entrusted me with this!"_

_The cold wind brushed through her blond hair dangling near her ears. Like a damsel in distress running away from her household, Higuchi refused to look behind. Watching her footsteps lead her towards her destination, a heavy feeling ignited within her, as if it was preventing her to continue. She shook her head and continued running. Carefully slipping her hand in her pocket, the female removed a transceiver and held it near her ear. A voice message has been set; stating her progress in the mission was being recorded by the device and was soon sent to her superior, Akutagawa Ryunosuke._

_After a few minutes of running, Higuchi stopped in her tracks to catch her breath. Just a few more steps to reach the building filled with delinquents posing a threat to the Mafia. She could've requested for back-up, but she refused to. Thinking that this mission would cause her not less than thirty minutes to finish, she denied any offer for bodyguards. Furthermore, she could at least prove to herself and to Akutagawa that she is reliable and worthy of trust._

_Looking from left to right, the blonde made sure no one was around. Twilight had appeared, so did the moon. Shining brightly, it illuminated the way towards the abandoned building as Higuchi began walking with the guns in her hands to prepare for battle._

_Upon entering the building, she caught a glimpse of workers roaming around. In their hands they held rifles, guns, and the like. There were a few of them. Higuchi can most likely eliminate them all successfully. Suddenly, she pointed her guns at them and began pulling the trigger. Noises coming from the guns from both parties surrounded the place; it was deafening. However, due to experience, Higuchi was not bothered by the noise, and continued shooting. Her skill was beyond that of the workers', which allowed her to eliminate all of them._

_However, her success didn't last long._

_She was attacked from behind by an unknown individual, kicking her from current position and landed on the ground with a loud thud. The impact was strong enough to make her forehead bleed through a wound, plus she felt confused. Workers began surrounding her with their guns pointed. Quickly, Higuchi recovered by getting the revolver hidden behind her to retaliate, but it was stopped for her right arm has been stepped upon. The pain enabled her to scream in agony._

_"Who sent you?"_

_A deep voice interrupted her wailing. She couldn't determine which one was communicating with her for they were all covered in masks. With a scowl, Higuchi tried to intimidate them._

_"H-Huh...? Why would I tell yoー"_

_A gunshot landed in her thigh, piercing its way through her skin. With intense pain surrounding her body she continued to scream._

_"Answer."_

_A scornful smile appeared on her face. Higuchi began to vomit blood, her upper part of her clothes partially stained with the said liquid. She refused to answer, which led to more painful shots coming from the concealed individuals as her punishment. She ignored the pain and tried her best to stand._

_She quickly regained her composure by getting the knife hidden behind her as fast as she could, and quickly stabbed the leg that was preventing her right arm from functioning. She threw a smoke bomb to distract them in order to retrieve her lost success. Higuchi took a step backward. At the same time, she threw a grenade near the smoke. An explosion took place inside which caused the ground to partially tremor. Letting out a sigh of relief, the smoke quickly dispersed into the wind. But little did she know, a bullet pierced near the heart of the female which led to her current state on the ground. More workers began surrounding her body, allowing to click her tongue in anger._

_"You underestimated us, imbecile. Lock her up!"_

_Disappointment painted the female's face, as she was being dragged by the workers towards the locked room in the basement. She failed this missionーnot to mention, this was her last. Deep in her heart, she knew she would fail and disappoint her superior if she continued to pursue this kind of handiwork, which is why she decided to leave the organization with this mission as her last. Looking back, the voice message she sent still lingers in her mind, with her fixed purpose deeply engraved into her tone. This day would be her last in the Mafia; worse, she left Akutagawa failing him as his subordinate._

_'Forgive me, Akutagawa-senpai...'_

_Her melancholic inner monologue was soon interrupted by faint coughing coming from the outside. Quickly, spare workers blocked the way with their guns pointed at him, but they were all impaled by the black beast bearing the name of Rashoumon._

_The female recognized the black beast and its wielder's soft cough. Turning back, her face lit with a smile._

_"Akutagawa-senpai!"_

_The male's beast ravaged through the walls, slaying everyone inside. Splatters of blood surrounded the floor and the walls. Akutagawa covered his mouth as he faintly coughed. As his eyes met Higuchi's, the usual frown engraved on his face slowly reduced to a normal one. The female, who was deeply happy because of his arrival, approached the man despite her wound on the thigh._

_"A-Akutagawa-senpai..." She hesitated._

_"I have failed you again, didn't I? I'm terribly sorry. I knew I wasn't suited for this job. Hirotsu-san told me as well. That's why... that's why..."_

_Tears began falling down her cheeks. She wiped them off with her hand, although it was stained with blood. Her face ended up getting more stained._

_"I'm pretty sure you received the voice message, senpai. I'm leaー"_

_“How can you write when you are losing yourself in madness?”_

Higuchi’s eyes slowly opened. Crimson eyes locked on the bloodstained wall opposite of her. She hears soft snoring. Turning to her right she sees her little sister laying on her thigh, a white blanket pulled over her and Kuni resting near her chest. 

She should really stop dreaming about the past and expect things to go better. She can’t play the damsel in distress anymore. She should focus her work on the goons that keep getting bolder. She heard news that the Armed Detective Agency will hunt her down. 

(“Onee-chan! You are not going to die right?! You won’t leave me, right?!”) 

She will kill them like she did with the others. All for the sake of her little sister. Not for Akutagawa. 

From the moment she first saw him fight, Higuchi had admired him.

The Port Mafia was a dark world of organized chaos, of violence of both the understated and not-so-understated kind; the wardens of the night whose political and economic influence reached far across Yokohama. As a member, she was one of the many there who had no special ability, but Higuchi was skilled enough with firearms that she was useful. She always knew that the very nature of the mafia was one that clashed with her own: she was easily emotional, slightly skittish, and overall simply didn’t consider herself the mafia type. But it paid well enough, and although for the longest time Higuchi could never truly pinpoint why she never made an effort to leave the organization, there eventually came the point where it became clear enough.

That was when she was made Akutagawa’s assistant.

As the owner of the most devastating and terror-inducing offensive ability in the mafia (Higuchi thought she had heard whisper before of another one that had been ten times worse than his, but from what she could gather it was no longer used for an unknown reason, and she didn’t know who had wielded it), Akutagawa was well-known, and she in particular knew of him and caught glimpses of him early on. He was one of the highest-ranking members in their combat squad, not surprisingly, and Higuchi sensed how much they respected him for what he could do.

The first time she saw him use his ability, she was spellbound, in a spine-chilling sort of way: Rashomon was indeed terrifying, consisting of a limitless number of razor-sharp black thorn-like tendrils that seemed to come from Akutagawa’s clothes, shooting out in all directions in virtually any form of attack that their owner ordered them in, and he controlled it all so fast that Higuchi couldn’t keep herself from being amazed. He killed so quickly, so effortlessly, with that deadly ability, while remaining so calm and collected, and she couldn’t help but think how the violence of Rashomon contrasted with his apparent stoic personality.

He seemed so interesting from afar. Higuchi could hardly believe it when she was made his right-hand subordinate… but that was when things began to change, simultaneously for the worse and for the better.

Despite her initial, presumptuous awe of Akutagawa from what little she had seen and heard of him before, Higuchi knew to temper her opinions with the expectations she had of how different it might be to work with him up close. After all, she did not know much about him, really, yet, and above everything, she wished to be a worthy helper to him.

A handful of things stood out to Higuchi then, some sooner than others. None of them were reassuring.

First and most obvious, there was the coughing. It was something that Higuchi wondered how she had even managed to miss before she was working under him, because it was so frequent that even from afar she felt like one would notice it. She didn’t know if there was a more direct cause behind it, or if Akutagawa was simply sickly – the latter was more likely. Looking at him, this made sense: he was extremely pale, and rather thin, and his voice was low and retained its guttural quality even when he shouted. His coughing was so regular it worried Higuchi, and yet he nor anyone else ever mentioned it… and indeed, there didn’t seem to be much more to it than that, except for the rare cases where he had had to fight for an extended period of time. Battling seemed to cause him to cough the most, which only more confirmed her suspicious that his body was physically weak, but a few times, Akutagawa had strained himself enough that blood had come out as well, his coughs violent and him trembling with exhaustion and unable to continue standing once it was all over. It made Higuchi ache to see, wishing there was something she could do to help him and hating that it seemed like there was hardly anything she could.

Partly because of his personality, which was another thing she quickly learned about him.

For the most part, Akutagawa did not think much of her, nor much of anyone else, it soon became clear. He highly valued his own strength, which was incredibly formidable despite whatever ailed him (it was even more impressive, knowing this), and kept to himself as much as he could, only speaking to those in the mafia when it was necessary. He went off on his own many times without even knowing where he was, to Higuchi’s dismay, and when she was with him in the fray (or when things were calm), it was as if she wasn’t even there.

With Rashomon, Akutagawa was a one-man army, and behaved as such. Attempts to help him when he faltered were met with disregard at best, and violent insults at worst. He allowed her there to fight alongside him, just as he allowed anyone else, since it was their job… but Akutagawa wanted no one to get in his way, no matter how well or not well-off he was.

Because needing assistance was a sign of weakness, and being seen as weak was the one thing he despised more than anything else, it was abundantly clear even without him saying anything. 

It made Higuchi feel helpless. So utterly, terribly helpless, not just as his subordinate when Akutagawa rejected her assistance when he weakened, but also to wonder why on earth he felt like he needed to do everything alone, and push himself to the brink, alone. 

Perhaps she should have felt differently, she thought, deep down. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so kind; perhaps she should have been insulted, and frustrated, and angry, with how Akutagawa treated her. Sure, he was of higher rank than her, and was an extremely important and highly advantageous member of the mafia, but her job was to help him in any way possible, and he shunned that whenever she had an opportunity to. There were plenty, plenty of others in the mafia who were as cold and uncaring as he was, but Higuchi wasn’t one of them, and as a human being, perhaps she should have been more affected. After all, he couldn’t have been much older than she was; possibly even younger than her.

But in the end, Higuchi wasn’t angry, and it was barely because Akutagawa could easily kill her without even lifting a finger if he so desired.

Instead, the emotions she felt in her heart were ones such as sadness. Concern. Sympathy. A desire to know more about why he was the way he was, to know why even when he could barely stand and had to have her support him back to base, he still looked stricken at his own helplessness every step of the way; so many things, which no one else seemed to care about knowing.

And most of all, that same admiration she had initially felt, which never went away, even now.

So, Higuchi began to investigate. Eventually, things began to move into motion. The first knowledge of the weretiger popped up. The encounter with the one she discovered to be an ex-mafia, Dazai, happened. Akutagawa, who normally revealed nothing around her, began to express displeasure about the man out loud. Higuchi knew he didn’t intend to tell her specifically, but she heard. And the things she heard only increased her concerns.

As she sat in the tiny room where Akutagawa lay comatose after his battle with the tiger aboard the ship, his body broken, his fate unknown, and Higuchi’s heart in her throat and her spirit in despair, she thought about everything she knew, and had learned. She knew that he prioritized strength and lack of weakness above all else, and that the weretiger was a point of contempt for him. She also knew that Dazai was a point of interest for him. 

And Higuchi had learned, after looking in the right files, that when Dazai had still been in the mafia, Akutagawa had served under him, just like she served under Akutagawa now.

The files had also told her what kind of person Dazai had been in the mafia… the kind of person he still could be.

Higuchi didn’t have any real evidence for her suspicions. But just the suspicions were enough to make a certain amount of sense, that left her with a churning, painful feeling deep in her gut.

When Akutagawa opened his eyes to her later even after being kidnapped, the tears that brimmed her eyes were not just from sheer relief.

(“I don’t care whether I’m meant to be here or not. I will be for you , no matter how much you try to push me away.”) 

She now regrets those words. She regrets them day in and out. Because how can she protect him when she can’t even protect her little sister? 

Pathetic. 

She will kill the Armed Detective Agency-

Wait. Isn’t this perfect though? With the police for going after her, she can be sentenced and put in jail. All the murders she committed will be brought to the highest order, they will judge her and finally execute her. Her little sister will not be going anywhere near her. A monster shouldn’t be near someone as pure as her little sister. 

**Natsu is her everything.**

She will gladly burn the world for her. 

  
  


(<•>|____<•>____|<•>)

  
  


_Birds whistles could be heard from the damp and smelly room, but the sight of the feathered creatures is beyond anyone who is sheltered in here._

_Cold metal chains around her ankles and wrists, eyes blindfolded and for the or worse some cloth holding her silent. A white plain yukata being the only warm thing in the room, not that her body felt it. Blue marks of the injections can be seen on her wrists and elbows. Her veins practically popped out of her skin._

_How long has she been like this? The question could be answered ten times since she has been here for only ten years. The only thing that holds her mind from not going insane is the sound of birds ticking on the wood. Such a nice sound._

_She always heard children play. As if they always had been ordered to play in front of her world. Were they told by her mother? Or did they have to do tests to get permission outside? Must be nice to have such a feeling of the sun—_

_**screech_

_That was a new sound._

_It wasn't the normal sound of the door being gently shoved to the side or the sound of laughter as they kicked an object to it while screaming monster. No, it is very hard. A push or a shove. What was the difference again? A shove was playful and a push was more painful? Was that it? Or is there no difference whatsoever and whoever teaches her just lied?_

_Footsteps are heard and whoever is walking only gives a sharp turn. The sound of another person walking in more casters can be heard....also—is that the sound of fire?_

_"Anderson, this is a bad idea!" A timid voice whispered. From the way how high pitched it is, it must be from a female._

_"We have come this far already. We can't let them continue with this inhuman act!" Anderson shouted, loud and clear compared to the woman._

_"Even so..! You know her Ability! We can't take a step with her in your reach!" The woman now shouted as well._

_She didn't understand what was happening but all she could hear was the cage opening. The chains are tucked before the sound of breaking metal. Twitching a bit, she also felt her wrists being more flexible. What was happening? Did mother order them?_

_"Andersen!!" The woman ushered, making the man's work faster. Feeling her body being hoisted up, she let herself be held against the man's shoulder or what she assumed._

_"I'm done Ellen. Lead the way!"_

_"Got it!"_

_The whole time, she let herself hear the new sounds of huffs and puffs from these people. Anderson and Ellen's voices drowned her mind. What are these sounds? Are they tired? Are they crying? Or are they angry?_

_"We are always away from the garden! Another more tree and we are gone!" Another voice announced. Wait, another voice?_

_Three humans have come to pick her up? Is she getting a new shelter?_

_She, once again, felt her body being lifted up before throwing up._

_"Onee-Sama!" "Andersen!!!"_

_Both voices became muffled once she landed in two arms again or she presumed._

_"I'm fine Ellen. No need to worry yourself."_

_"Even so you are holding a child! You can't throw her up, jump over the wall and assume things will go fine!"_

_.....he did what now?_

_"Relax Ellen. See! She is perfectly fine," the voice argued as they walked further. Finally feeling them stopping, the strong arms went downwards._

_"Let's first put these blindfolds away. They must be hard to look through," Ellen gently said, she came closer._

_"Be careful. I think she might be sensitive," Andersen curtsied._

_She didn't have time to think before the blindfolds came off. Her mouth is still stuffed but that didn't stop the little gasp from coming._

_Beautiful light lilac hair pulled into a high bun, shining green eyes and fair skin is standing in front of her. Such beautiful colors only blinding her newly adjusted sight. Gloved hands caressed her cheek, warmth emmitatting from the cloth. "Here we go," Ellen smiled, removing the cloth away from her mouth._

_"How is she?" Anderson asked, a man with short blue hair and black eyes. Odd color choice but she is not complaining._

_"Next to a few cracked her teeth are unclean and most of them look like they are ready to rot at any second," Ellen explained, holding her jaw gently._

_Anderson sighed. "As suspected. They aren't cleaning her teeth properly. Those bastards..."_

_"It's okay to get angry Anderson. Just don't curse in front of the children," Ellen scolded before turning to the little girl next to her._

_"Natsu, can you give me the bag?"_

_"Sure thing Ellen-san," Natsu nodded, walking towards the bag._

_The woman turned back to her, her plum lips forming a smile. "My name is Ellen Hørup and the man behind me is Hans Christian Andersen."_

_She blinked when Andersen bent down and placed his gloved hand on her head._

_"We are here to bring you home, Natsuko."_

  
  


Higuchi sniffs the ocean air one more time before turning around to her targets. Only two of them are here. Two...two people who she will kill. 

No. She won’t kill them. She will turn herself over. 

She has to. 

**You pitiful child.**

A voice boomed in her head. Higuchi ignored it in favor of taking out a bottle of water from her pocket and poured it all over her. His thunder tickled her numb on her feet. Her katana is ready. Ready for the **kill.**

No! To turn herself over! 

**You are a pitiful vessel even in adulthood.**

Higuchi walked from the roof down onto the ground. The loud thud being heard by the silver haired man. 

“Yosano-san, someone is there!” 

“Show yourself.” 

Higuchi adjusted her mask. She needed to calm herself before giving herself over. 

Stepping out of the dark alley, Higuchi revealed herself. Her masked face is expressionless. She needed to stay calm. No one can save her because this is her problem. Not that of society. 

Her red eyes scanned the two. She noted that the woman is standing behind the man. She maneuvered herself to see the second person more, interested who the heroes of this bloody tale are. 

However, the sight of her little sister, exhausted and looking pale made her stop in her tracks. 

Kuni is nowhere to be seen. Is she dead? Did she abandon Natsu? 

“We are from the Armed Detective Agency. Comply with us or else we will have to use force.” 

**She’ll die.**

“Let her go.” Higuchi’s voice is low and her eyes shine through the mask. The silver haired man flinched—now that she strained her eyes it looked like he was younger then her. 

“We mean her no harm!” The boy quickly defended. “We saw her in a room and she was coughing loudly and we just….!” 

Higuchi’s katana is unsheathed underneath her cloak. The two flinch as they felt her bloodlust. 

“Let her go.” She takes a step forward, eyes looking straight to them. Higuchi sees no reason to cooperate if they had touched her little sister. 

**No one takes her little sister away from her.**

“Ability:.....” the two take a step back, eyes widened as electricity cracks out of her body. 

“... **Growing Pains.** ” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The murders and the cases from the beginning are actual cases in Japan. 
> 
> Also, Higuchi’s little sister’s name is not revealed yet so far so I’m using the nickname of the real life Higuchi. 
> 
> Kuni was the original of Natsu but I gave it to the dog.

**Author's Note:**

> This story will continue and has been written down right after I had written down Growing Up. You will see this not that much however because of examens and other work I need to focus on. Don’t worry, everything will be fine and you will enjoy this.


End file.
